How to know if you have a spirited child

All children are special and unique in their own ways. Some are easy going while others are more strong-willed. As a parent, it can be hard to figure out what exactly is going on with our little ones. Is your child's behaviour normal? Or is there something more going on? 

There may have been signs that make you wonder if your strong-willed child is “spirited”. But how can you be sure? Actually, there are several ways you can tell. Here I’m going to go through 10 signs that your strong-willed child may be spirited.

1. Your child is highly sensitive

Does your child get easily overwhelmed or overstimulated? Do bright lights or loud noises bother them? Does your child seem extra sensitive to their emotions or the emotions of others? If so, your child may be highly sensitive. They are very in tune with their surroundings and and can pick up on even the subtlest of changes. This means they take in more information than the average person. This can be both a blessing and a curse. While highly sensitive children are often creative and compassionate, they can also be easily overwhelmed. If you have a highly sensitive child, it's important to create a calm environment for them and to give them plenty of time to process information. 

2. Your child is intense

Spirited children feel things very deeply and passionately. They may cry easily or get angry quickly, but they also laugh and love with great intensity. Everything is just “more” for them! But this also means that your child has more intense tantrums or meltdowns than the average child. When they get upset, they really let you know it and can continue inconsolably for a long time. It’s important to work out whether your child needs a hug or some sort of contact when they’re upset, or whether this will make them even more upset. Some kids need contact to calm down, but for others it overstimulates them even more. 

3. Your child is very active

Spirited children often have a lot of energy and can't sit still for long periods of time. They may be constantly on the move, climbing, running, and jumping. This may be true for most young kids, but spirited kids seem to operate on a different level than other kids their age. Spirited children can be both rewarding and challenging. They often require more attention and patience than the average person but they also bring a lot of joy. If you have a spirited child, it's important to provide them with plenty of outlets for their energy and to help them channel their intensity in positive ways. 

4. Your child has strong preferences

Spirited children know what they like and don't like, and they're not afraid to let you know! They tend to dig their heels in and fight you on everything. They may be particular about what they eat, what clothes they wear, or how they like their hair to be styled. are often described as being headstrong and determined. They have a hard time taking direction from others and often need to do things their own way. While this behaviour can be challenging at times, it can also be a strength. Strong-willed children often grow up to be leaders. If you have a strong-willed child, the best thing you can do is provide direction and structure in a loving and firm way. 

5. Your child is persistent

Do you feel like you're constantly saying "no" to your little one? Do they have a hard time listening and following directions? Once a spirited child sets their mind on something, they're not going to give up easily. They may cry or throw tantrums when they don't get their way.

6. Your child is independent

Spirited children often don't like being told what to do or being smothered with too much attention. They prefer to do things their own way and at their own pace.

7. Your child is mischievous

Spirited children are often keen observers of their environment and can spot opportunities for mischief! They may be constantly testing boundaries and pushing buttons just to see what will happen next.

8. Your child has a short attention span

Spirited children are often easily bored by activities that are too mundane or repetitive for their liking. They need stimulation and novelty in order to stay engaged, especially in school. If you have a spirited child and their teacher insists they don’t listen in class, instead of punishing your child, maybe look into how engaging or creative their lessons are because that may be the problem rather than your child’s behaviour.

9 .Your child is dramatic

Spirited children often have dramatic or intense feelings. They feel things deeply and their emotions are always close to the surface. They tend to be natural performers who love an audience .They may put on shows for family and friends, act out stories ,or sing and dance around the house. Everything is just more fun when there's an audience! 

10. Your child is creative

Spirited children are often very creative and entrepreneurial. They might like to paint, draw, write stories, build things with blocks, take photos etc. This can also make them master negotiators or often it can feel like they’re outsmarting you, just because they think more outside the box. Don’t be surprised if your three year old wins an argument with logic that you didn’t even consider.

Spirited kids may be challenging at times, But one thing is for sure - these kids are never boring! They're also usually creative, passionate, and full of life. So get ready for some intense negotiations, buckle up ... and have lots of fun! It’s going to be a wild ride!

If it looks like your kiddo is spirited, what now? You may have noticed that most parenting advice doesn’t help with your kid. Come join my Calm Fun Parents Facebook group where we have free trainings and information about how to best handle your spirited child, so that you can have an easier, more fun time with your little love. All our tips are geared towards helping parents with spirited kids rather than the average child.